Wed apr 1
It’s April first, and I’ve already made a fool of myself.
Some unsightly fallen trees had been driving me nuts all winter, and today was a nice day to be outside, so I grabbed my chainsaw and headed for the woods.
I am not a good woodsman. I always manage to get my chain saw stuck when a tree collapses on it. Usually, you can muscle the pieces apart, but “you want to try to not have to.”
Today’s tree was a big one, and it had fallen over and taken a 10 foot tall root ball with it. My mission was to cut off the two fallen trunks and watch the root ball sink back into the ground. Without getting my saw stuck.
I thoroughly analyzed the stresses in the logs, planned my attack, and quickly got my saw stuck. And I do mean stuck. Muscling wasn’t going to help and, to get the tractor in there to help, I’d have to chainsaw a few trees first. Shit.
Eventually, a hydraulic jack did the trick, but the root ball didn’t fall far.
When I finished, I made a mental note to myself to Never, Ever, do anything that stupid ever again.
wed apr 8
That didn’t take long.
Crocuses cure the foulest moods.
sun apr 12
It’s Easter Sunday. We had wings and carrot sticks with blue cheese dip, and we watched a movie. Welcome to the pandemic.
From what I hear, house-bound people everywhere are dusting off old hobbies and trying something new. I hear bread baking is popular. Gardening too. Personally, I took up grinding.
No matter how careful I am, my tools get dull. And since I’m a terrible sharpener, my tools stay dull. And when they get rrreally dull, I usually just buy a new tool.
By now, I have quite the collection of dull drills and mills.
But right now, what I need is a sharp drill.
So now I need a new drill? Seriously?
And that’s how grinding came to be my new hobby. I’m going to learn me how to sharpen drills and mills before this pandemic is over.
You just watch.
tue apr 14.
I started with drills, and I ‘sharpened’ them over and over till I … um … perfected my technique.
Some of them lost a lot of weight.
First outdoor project of the season:
Drain the swamp.
After 30 years, the ravages of time and big butts had taken their toll on the tractor’s seats.
So I did my butt a favor and got rid of them.
fri apr 17
Whoops! Forgot what I was gonna say!
Sat apr 18.
Virus this. Virus that. Everywhere you turn, it’s the Virus.
Frankly, I’m getting a little tired of this whole virus thing, and I wish it would just go away.
The other day, I went to get myself a bowl of ice cream for a midnight snack, and I selected the Haagen Daaz Coconut Pineapple Swirl. I got out a bowl and a spoon and I opened up the pint and — WTF?? — it was full of Ben & Jerry’s Heath Bar Crunch! I quickly deduced that the two lids had been switched, spooned out a little of each, and asked myself:
“Who could have done this?”
It must have been me because, when confronted with the evidence, Mary said she’s been eating nothing but New York Super Fudge Chunk.
Ice cream is indeed essential in a pandemic.
How’s THAT for a sharpening jig?
I made a pair of rabbit hutches for a neighbor.
And she’s making me cookies.
mon apr 27
All through my motorcycle trip, my electrical system was dicy. Blown fuses. Dead USB ports. My headlight went on the blink in San Diego and then went dead for good in Idaho. I was lucky to make it back, but when I got home, my motorcycle was the last thing I wanted to work on.
But now it’s Spring time, and if a pandemic is not a good time to fix a headlight, then when is?
I found a problem. It was a blown fuse, but not on the headlight circuit, so I kept looking.
Ahhh! I found the problem, and it was not one, but two broken solder joints. So I took it apart, fixed the joints, put it all back together, turned the key, and – presto! – Still no headlight. And now the blinker and the brake light are dead. WTF?
I replaced the battery with a power supply. I disconnected the coils.
I gave my voltmeter a work out and I got myself worked up and I finally smacked that rusty fucking piece of shit upside the cylinder head, and … the headlight went on. WTF?
I smacked it again, and it winked at me.
Ah ha! A loose connection! I tracked it down to the gray wire in the high beam circuit. I could even see the missing metal where it was broken. Bingo!
I bought a new connector, re-soldered 22 wires, hooked it all up and …
Still no headlight.
Ah come on…. Since I was striking out on the headlight, I took a time out and refurbished the blinker switch, which was stiff. I put it back together, tried it out and … Even the blinker still wasn’t working.
Ah fuck. I sank to my knees, I hung my head and I leaned into the frame.
The headlight went on. Followed by a light bulb in my head.
The fuse box itself was defective! I found one just like it on ebay, ordered it, and – you just wait – I’m pretty sure this’ll do the trick.
Usually, there is only one root cause for an electrical failure.
You find it. You fix it. Problem solved!
This time it took two broken solder joints and two different bad connectors to finally kill off the headlight. What are the odds?
Not only that, but a whole phase of the dynamo is reserved for the headlight, so the battery won’t have to work so hard, but the broken solder joints took that phase out of commission. And I still made it to the west coast and back!
I am a lucky guy.
Two good reasons it doesn’t work.
Wed apr 29
When we planted the apple orchard a few years ago, Mary told me I ought to do something about the deer, but I was more worried about surviving that first winter, and I did nothing.
The next year, the damage was not too bad. As in ‘they got chewed it up pretty good’. Mary made some good suggestions, but they involved time and money, and I dodged doing anything about it.
This year, Bambi’s little friend Godzilla tagged along, and I have no one to blame but myself. I spent some time and some money, and I made a cage for each tree.
With the new fuse box, everything checked out, and I put it back together, all neat and tidy.
The headlight works.
thu apr 30
C3PR has been a lot of hard programming for a couple of months now. The vision component has been challenging, and making the jump from “works pretty good” to “works perfectly” has been hard.
Besides. It’s nice outside.
My sharpening skills are now waaay better than nothing, but there’s still room for improvement.